[Forza] Getting into Forza 4: the first 30 minutes

When it comes to purchasing my games, I am torn right down the middle. For my PC I prefer online content only, the Steam store being one of the places I will go. I don't need to have some chubby, speccy know-it-all boring me to death about computer specs and other shit I couldn't care less about. Plus, I've found there are less issues if there is no disc involved when installing. Odd, huh.
For a console however, I absolutely have to have the game in my hands. Perhaps it goes back to the old habits of unwrapping a game or two for Christmas and birthdays, but being able to hold THE GAME OF THE YEAR(at the time at least) is quite epic, and unlike a PC game, your mates can't borrow it and make a sneaky copy thus getting it for free.

So getting to the point of the title, I am quite fortunate in that I live roughly 3 minutes quick walk from the shops, and on the end of the high street nearest to me is a Gamestation, a wonderful(!) place that's always eager to take your money off you and attempt to sell you extra shit you don't want or need... Another 3 minutes and I'll be in Chips, old-school heaven. Mega Drives in the window, SNES and Game Boy games in glass cabinets, proper gaming merchandise, if it's before 2005 Chips is the best place to go.
Some of you may be aware that Forza 4 came out recently, in the UK it was about a week ago. My dearly beloved was kind enough to pick me up my pre-ordered limited edition version from Gamestation while I was at work, a nice short walk for her and she got a big hug at the end so she felt it worth it. She still charged me a cup of tea for it, payment is of course still pending.

Get game and remove from packing, turn on 360.
Swear at console for not logging into XBL, and test connection. Ensure console is placed outside DNZ. Again.
Insert disc, wait for game to patch. On release day, there was a patch. WHY.
Okay, here we go! Game is loading... and Jeremy Clarkson is talking to me through a very pretty intro sequence about how speed is essentially becoming illegal. Very obvious, hence buying the video game and not a car to joyride in.
Get past intro, create new save slot.
Play first race, in a Ferrari 458. With all the driver aids on. First impression: WHY CAN I NOT TURN THESE OFF, I FUCKING HOPE THIS ISN'T THE CASE BECAUSE AUTO-BRAKE IS SHITE
Get past shitty intro race, realise that it was meant nothing and aids are now able to be altered accordingly.
Swear lots at Turn 10.
Install disc 2, wait 5 minutes. Girlfriend suggests making that cuppa while I wait; I tell her bollocks.
Swap discs back, realise there's a shitload of free codes to redeem.
Bully girlfriend into reading out the codes.
Realise it's easier to switch to a QWERTY layout, so do that and begin again.
Import old Forza 3 profile.
Wait a minute while it does all that. Swear at Turn 10 some more.
Alter driving assists to suit. Panic when you realise there's no adjustable computer AI any more.
Go to the Community page, and read the spam Turn 10 sent you just now, thanking you for buying the game, here's a small selection of cars you owned in Forza 3, you had level 50 in Forza 3 so grats but you have to start again lol, and there's a one-lap tournament open to join in with but only if you get this DLC and you live in Germany. Whut.
Explore the menus. Have a mini-crisis in the Autovista before you realise it's actually just a tacky added-on gimmick for the tards that bought a Kinect and a lame way to increase content.
Go crazy when you realise you can drive a Kia cee'd on the Top Gear test track and set a hot lap.
Ignore the Top Gear stuff and dive straight into The Playground, and load up Car Soccer.

Seriously, all that took half an hour. Ignoring the first shitty race, my first hands-on experience with Forza 4 was a good half an hour after I got my hands on it - and I chose to play football.

And then I realised just how bloody sweet the football mode was, and forgave Turn 10 for causing me premature balding due to stress.

1 comment:

  1. Forza 4 is great, perhaps the greatest, but it lacks a breath of fresh air. This is a polished, updated, patches, enhanced third Forza Motorsport Or at least that's what Forza 3 should have been at first. Still - the game sucks me and is the best recommendation I have got.